


You Can't Kill the Past, My Dear

by MaraSue



Category: Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-01-16
Packaged: 2019-03-05 16:36:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13391853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaraSue/pseuds/MaraSue
Summary: Original author's summary:Here is what happens when I refuse to believe that Luke wanted to kill Kylo.Summary: Kylo’s doomed sex life, Luke’s force ghost, appearances from Millicent the Cat.Warning: OOC, and I don’t know much about the rules around Force Ghosts.





	You Can't Kill the Past, My Dear

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [亲爱的，过去是杀不掉的](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13311843) by [hydrviolence](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hydrviolence/pseuds/hydrviolence). 



The dices disappeared in his hands. The moment Rey shut the ramp before his eyes, Kylo Ren believed that he was dead.

Well at least mentally, he thought, his heart was cold, hard and dark like a rock. Nothing would stir in his mind anymore. This is the state of darkness befitting his new status of Supreme Leader.

He savored in the darkness.  
For 15 minutes.

It was broken by a mental tsunami when he found his uncle waiting for him at his command shuttle as he was returning to it.

“You! You are dead!” Kylo Ren gripped his lightsaber, “I felt it!”

“Yes,” Luke agreed, “this time you are right.”

“YOU ARE DEAD!!” Kylo repeated, in capital letters.

“Sure,” Luke sighed, why did he have to be so serious, yet Ben had been an obstinate child, “but didn’t I say, ‘see you around, kid.’?”

Kylo stared at Luke, ready to explode.

“Here I am, seeing you around.” Luke shrugged.

“Not _this_  soon?” Kylo bellowed. He wanted to throw something at Luke. Not the lightsaber, he wasn’t that stupid. So he force grabbed the other nearest thing at hand and threw it at Luke, which happened to be General Hux.

Luke disappeared.

 

The perks of being Supreme Leader's right hand man, General Hux had been force thrown a lot recently. This time was no exception. He fell ungracefully on the floor. There was nothing he could do to help it, but he allowed himself to roll his eyes.

Kylo was still in a tantrum. He stared at the window away from Hux, breathing heavily. He prayed to Darth Vader’s broken helmet that he wouldn’t see his uncle’s force ghost again.

 

\----------

 

His prayer, of course, wouldn’t be answered.

Luke was back, again, too soon.

They had just set off on the return course. Kylo went back to his quarters. As he emerged from his relaxing hot bath, the first thing he saw was Luke standing just outside the refresher room.

“You look very shredded,” Luke appeared impressed, and maybe even a little proud of his nephew, “I remember you were very thin.”

“GO AWAY!” Kylo managed to say the two words with all his strength, and it broke his voice a little.

Luke did not appear affected at all by the banishment, “That girl, Rey, did she see you shirtless like this?”

Kylo grabbed a shaving foam bottle and threw at Luke. The bottle smashed. Luke vanished again.

But this time Kylo knew that Luke would come back. He was haunting him.

Damn it! He had killed the past, hadn’t he? Why wouldn’t the past leave him be?!

 

\---------

 

What’s worse, Luke’s ghost was not his only worry, his relationship with Hux was also in trouble.

That night, he went to Hux’s quarters, who blocked him from entering.

“Apologize!” Hux said.

Kylo pursed his lips.

“You choked me, threw me around in front of everyone,” Hux’s anger was palpable, his voice ice cold, “no one does that to me.”

“I… I was angry,” Kylo mumbled, “I wanted to… you were in my way.”

“Apologize! And swear you won't choke me or throw me around anymore.”

Bad his temper may be, Kylo was honest. He knew that if he swore it his temper would not let him keep it. So he decided to retort instead, “You wanted to kill me, didn’t you? When I was down in the throne room.”

Hux did not reply. Did he blink slightly? Or was it that his lips twitched? His sharp eyes were without any regret, or did they even glint with a tint of cold mirth? He did not deny. Kylo knew Hux wanted to kill him. He would have succeeded had he reacted a little faster.

Now they are even.

Kylo shrugged. He bent down and kissed Hux, who allowed it.

People usually close their eyes when kissing unless they are extremely nervous or paranoid. Kylo was a little paranoid, but no that paranoid.

So he only opened his eyes when the kiss was over. And he saw Luke in the room behind Hux’s back, watching them with mild interest.

Kylo jumped as if he saw a ghost, to be fair he did. He pushed Hux away, took a step back, and stared over Hux’s shoulder.

Luke raised one eyebrow.

Kylo fled at once.

Walking to the door, Hux watched the man who he just kissed and was planning to allow onto his bed, fled like a frightened Lothrat.

He frowned. Then he closed the door, “Psychotic,” he remarked while picking up Millicent the cat.

 

\---------

 

Kylo ran all the way back to his own room and locked the door behind him.

Only to find Luke sitting on his chair waiting for him.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to spy on you and… that lad.” Luke explained before Kylo could open his mouth.

“Go away! Disappear!” Kylo drew his lightsaber and pointed at Luke, which was of no threat to a ghost.

“I mean it. I was not stalking you,” Luke put up his hands, “I just wanted to pet the cat.”

“What? Millicent?”

“So _that_ is her name, Millicent,” Luke said, “I was petting her, then the door opened, then you two were…”

“Shut up! SHUT UP!” Kylo howled.

This time Luke was careful. He didn’t want to provoke Kylo, so he did not say words like ‘intimate’ or ‘kiss’ out loud. “You don’t have to be ashamed,” Luke said.

“Shut up!”

Luke did not, “I remember you were a very sensitive child,” He continued, “However, I thought you and Rey… “

Kylo interrupted him, “Hux and I,” he began loudly, and felt his voice was too thrill, so he tried to continue in a calmer voice, “our relationship is… strictly sexual.” His cheeks were burning.

“It’s all right. One can be attracted by another of the same sex. I mean I understand.” Luke said, like a proper uncle.

Kylo looked up at Luke cautiously.

“Please sit,” Luke indicated the stool beside him, “let’s have a talk.”

Kylo moved half a step towards the stool, but he did not sit. “What do you want?” He said unhappily.

“Nothing,” Luke answered, “I am dead and of the past. There is nothing I can do anymore.” He added with a weak smile, “I’m just here.”

He disappeared.

Kylo stared at the empty chair.

 

\---------

 

Since then, Luke’s ghost would appear, have a random conversation with Kylo, then disappear at any time.

Technically it seemed harmless, but his random appearances almost destroyed Kylo’s sex life.

One day, when Kylo was undressing and climbing onto Hux’s bed, Millicent meowed. Kylo looked over.

Talked about a boner killer.

Luke’s ghost was beside Millicent, wearing the same shocked expression as the one on Kylo’s face.

Kylo jumped out of bed and struggled into his clothes.

“What now?” Hux asked.

“Luke’s ghost is here.” Kylo explained.

“Oh, that,” Hux said, careless.

“He’s playing with your cat,” Kylo said. Luke’s ghost immediately disappeared.

Hux jumped out of bed, hardly dressed in anything. He drew his blaster and aimed at where Luke had been, shouted furiously, “No one pets my cat other than me!”

“He’s gone.” Kylo said as he finished dressing.

Hux lowered his weapon, “did he pet Millie before?”

“I’ve no idea.” Kylo lied.

“Damn it,” Hux snapped, “Why are your relatives so weird?”

Kylo could think of nothing to defend Luke.

After that, Luke had insisted again and again that he was not interested in Kylo’s relationship with Hux, he only wanted to see Millicent. But Kylo became more and more paranoid when it comes to his nightly affair.

Kylo insisted on turning off all the lights in case Luke can see him. He demanded that Hux not make any noise lest Luke hear anything. And he kept looking around so that he could see Luke as soon as possible if he appeared.

Hux had enough, “Go back to your own bed!”

“How can you say that to me?” Kylo protested.

“Alright, Supreme Leader, will your excellency go back to your magnificent bed and sleep with your royal hugging toys,” Hux said.

Kylo had no choice but went back to his own room, his own bed, expect hugging toys, obviously.

“You have destroyed my sex life,” He said to Luke’s ghost. They had been seeing each other quite often for a while now so that their conversation had become much more open and relaxed. Maybe too open and relaxed.

“I’m sorry,” Luke apologized again, “However, I wouldn’t think you would choose that guy as your sex partner.”

Kylo looked up at Luke from his bed.

“Did you know that he collects hair product and enjoys sorting out underwear?” Luke broke Hux’s secret hobbies to Kylo.

“I do.” Kylo sank back to his pillow.

“Surprising,” Luke said, “I thought you would be attracted to someone lively, funny and dashing. It would complement your own character. Instead, you are with such an obsessive, paranoid, cold blooded killer.”

This was such an accurate description of Hux that Kylo could not disagree, however, “Why should I listen to you? You have your opinion of what is good and right. But why should I let you decide for me?”

Luke sighed. He did not reply, merely nodded.

“You are trying to sow discord in our relationship,” as soon as he said these words he felt they were rediculous - as if there wasn’t any discord yet between him and Hux. Hux wanted to kill him off, he knew it, and he knew that Hux knew he did. On the other hand, he was no better than Hux.

“I see,” Luke nodded again and changed subject, “I will not go to see Millie at night from now on. Don’t worry.”

Kylo looked at Luke.

“Hux has a nice cat,” Luke said.

“True,” Kylo agreed.

Since then, Kylo Ren no longer worried that his uncle would intrude on him and Hux. Luke still went to see Millicent very often, but he made an effort to avoid Kylo.

Kylo was fully aware that Luke still petted Millicent, but he wouldn’t tell Hux.

 

\--------

 

Luke still appeared from time to time and chatted with Kylo. They talked about petty things like how to cook porgs or Millicent needed to lose some weight.

Gradually Kylo could not think of Luke as his enemy. After all, if you have shared so many petty conversations like they did, and no harm was done to each other, anyone would feel more like family than enemy.

Meanwhile, Kylo started to notice something odd, that some of his memory was fake. They were implanted into his mind. He hadn’t been able to tell implanted memory from real ones until now. It was like mud settling down in the bottom of the pond when the water was still.

So who had put all these into his mind?

That would be Snoke.

Snoke had died for a while now. His influence was receding. That must be why Kylo could start to tell which part of his memory wasn’t real.

“I was manipulated by him,” Kylo realized.

 

\---------

 

One night, Kylo woke from a dream.

He sat up, got out of bed, went to the refresher room. He looked at the mirror, stayed silently for a while. Then he backed to the bedside. He paced up and down, finally decided to sit.

“Luke,” he quietly called his uncle, “Luke, are you there?”

There was silence.

“You are not there when I need you,” Kylo dropped his head and whispered.

“I am here.” It was Luke’s voice.

Kylo looked up. Luke’s force ghost was right before his eyes.

“There was no lightsaber,” Kylo said, he bit his lips, “there was no light from lightsaber.”

Luke looked at him sadly. He did not reply.

“That night, you did not ignite the lightsaber, you did not want to kill me,” Kylo said, his eyes on Luke, “It was Snoke. He… twisted my senses, he made me see you with an ignited lightsaber. He was in my mind, he made me believe you would kill me.”

Luke sat down beside Kylo. “I’m sorry,” he said.

Kylo raised his hands uneasily, didn’t know what to do, then put them down.

Luke began, “I wanted to talk to you. When I saw you asleep, an idea occurred to me - if I killed you then, none of the the tragedy would happen.” He looked at Ben, whose mouth was slightly bulging in indignation. He still looked like the innocent and frightened boy from that fateful night.

“I instantly knew it wasn't my own idea,” Luke said, “Killing you was the opposite of what I wanted to do. I noticed that someone, or something had the power to influence my thoughts. It invaded my mind and emotion, it tried to take control of me.”

“Snoke?” Kylo asked.

“It was Snoke, yes,” Luke sighed, “Ben, you share my bloodline as well as Vader’s. Snoke was affecting, twisting and controlling you. And through our blood bond, he tried to control me, like a caterpillar crawling from one leaf to another.”

Ben was silent.

Luke continued, “‘Kill Ben’, I knew Snoke was gaining in influence on me as soon as I noticed the thought that was not my own. It was me that he wanted. If he could get me, it would be disastrous. I could have led all the padawans to the dark side. The consequence would be unimaginable. Therefore, I had to cut myself away from the force, from you, so that he could not invade and twist my mind or emotion. All these years I kept myself away from everything, except for once I tried to bond with Leia.”

Ben listened, his lips pressed tightly.

“I am so sorry, Ben,” Luke said, “I wasn’t there for you when you needed me.”

“You…” Ben swallowed, he looked at Luke, his eyes wet, “But,” he managed to say, “but you tried to stop Rey from coming.”

“Rey is a determined girl. She must do what she thinks is right, the more obstacles there are, the more determined she is.”

Ben looked down and said, lips trembling, “And… you didn’t come to me in the end.”

“I did.” Luke said.

“It was only a projection.”

“I was there. But I can’t let myself be killed by you.”

“Why?”

“Why?” Luke said, “What kind of uncle would let his nephew become a kinslayer, _twice_?”

 

\---------

 

Hux walked into Kylo’s quarters and found him face in his hands, crying his heart out, as if he wasn’t mentally dead.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Entree for beta reading the translated text and much useful contribution.
> 
> And thanks to the original author for providing so much more meaning for that fateful night as well as for Luke's final decision. When I first read this I loved it so much and ventured to translate it.


End file.
